Life, Relationships

Reduced To A Side Chic-Part 1

I had an incredibly busy weekend right from Friday. Today being a Monday, I had to go and work. I wished I didn’t have to though. I was unwell. I felt it. I was not feeling most parts of my body. There was a strain in my legs and arms. I felt like I would faint. Over the weekend, I had taken more of sodas and less of food. My body doesn’t do so well with caffeine.

After weighing my options, I had no choice but to go in office. I just hoped I wouldn’t pass out on the way. Tuesday is my friends birthday and I’m hosting her. Wednesday would be too late. I have to send in the reports before Wednesday morning.

Lucky for me, it does not entirely matter what time I come in or leave work. I only have to show up, do my work and email my reports. I reached work at about 10:00am.

At work, I checked my socials. I hardly go to Facebook. I noticed that the last search result was of my ex. He was top on my search history because someone had wanted to see what he looked like a few months ago.

I now stared. In a split second, I went from choosing to ignore it to clicking on the search anyways. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen, right?

I have never been more wrong.

As I scrolled down, I found a wedding picture. His ‘wife’ had tagged him in a post in which she was praising him to the moon. Attached was their wedding picture.

I didn’t know what to think or feel. My ex and I had not met in more than a year; since March last year. We had zero communication for about the same time. I had deleted his contacts and didn’t follow him on social media. In addition, I had deleted the contacts of those that knew him just in case they posted him or anything that would make me uncomfortable.

I live by the motto, “What the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve over”. This way, I intentionally distanced myself- all to protect my heart. The British say, ‘Ignorance is bliss’.

But this?! What was this? -He was MARRIED?! How was that even possible?

My heart was heavy and I had no idea how to feel or react. 104.1 Power Fm was playing in office. The play list was wonderful. Before I knew it, I was singing along to two songs in a row. I closed my eyes  in deep worship and prayed when the songs ended. Leaning over my work table, I prayed for grace to accept whatever had happened. I asked for courage and strength get over it.

Just to be certain, I checked just one last time to be sure that my eyes were not messing with me. It is exactly what it was: they were married.

I was already ill when I came to work…now, I was feeling way worse. I kept pushing my self to continue. All I really wanted was to go home, enter my bed, order pizza, chicken, fries, ice cream…and anything else edible. I just wanted to eat.

For the rest of my day, I tuned my phone to Power Fm and turned the volume at the maximum in my headsets.

I was working with numbers and graphs… adding loud music was the final touch. This way, I was able to block my thoughts from going  anywhere near that marriage.

Later in the afternoon, when I had finally wrapped my head around it, I texted my three friends and told them my ex was married.

“Say what😳,” replied one.

The next said, “😳wt the funnnn…Banaye baby girl am so sorry”.

The third one  texted back, “Madam. Move on. He did. God has better things in store. There’s never anything good in the past so don’t dwell there”. 

Another later texted me later that night, “😭😭😭What”.

That afternoon when I told my workmate what had happened, he laughed at me. When he realized I was serious, he just gave me money. “Go buy yourself food,” he said.

Truth be told, part of me just wanted to laugh loudly. Was this the dude I knew that had commitment issues? Wasn’t this the nigga that had told me to wait for five years in 2018?-Only to turn around and get married in just three and a half years?

Well, you have to give it to him, he successfully played me. True, at some point, he had told me time and again that he had a girlfriend, but, given that he never mentioned a name, and no one had ever seen her, plus none of his friends knew of any ‘girlfriend’, I figured he was just saying that to get to me. Besides, one minute he was always back telling me he wasn’t playing me, and that there was no one else…blah blah blah….
…Kumbe the girl was ‘very real’ and much alive?! All along she existed? Please let me laugh, the joke is on me!🤣🤣🤣🤣

End of Part I.

Thanks for reading. Keep on the look for part two.

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Other posts:

Engraved On My Mind-Part 1
Engraved On My Mind-Part 2


  1. Ayebare Patience Joy

    May 2, 2022 at 9:30 pm

    At this point, words fail me.

    1. Echoes Over Coffee

      May 3, 2022 at 3:21 am

      That makes two of us darling.

      But like we sang growing up, “Say hey, it’s a good day; even if things aren’t going my way; Jesus is Lord and I am saved, so, Say Heey, It’s a goooood day!”

  2. Maneno Winfred

    May 3, 2022 at 6:35 am

    Beautiful write up, these stories keep one wanting to read more and more.

  3. Echoes Over Coffee

    May 5, 2022 at 9:04 am

    Thanks Zoe Winnie….you are one of my top fans♥️♥️
    Thank you for always giving me positive feedback.

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