Relationships

What Went Down -Part One

Exactly ten days after being the last one to know that my ex got married, I actually cried. With time, I had experienced all sorts of emotions. From shock, surprise, laughter, amusement, cracking jokes, not caring, ignoring the entire matterā€¦the tears also eventually caught up with me. My eyes just welled up today and I allowed myself to cry.

So here’s a background story on what happened between March 2021 and April 2022, when my ex got married.

By the beginning of 2021, I was done with the games. I had finally made up my mind to be with Jason, inspite of all his flaws. I closed my eyes to every other guy around me. I picked him. After three years, he was still the only guy that gave me butterflies. The only guy whose touch would stop time. My love for him was genuine. All I was now waiting for was for him to make up his mind.

Unfortunately, it broke my heart that it was at that very point that he made everything about intimacy and sex. From the time we met in 2018, I had told him sex was not on the menu. Continually, I told him, ‘No sex before marriage’. However, he kept pushing and pushing. I refused. He said I was hurting him.

Hurting him? Really? We were both Christians; I thought I was doing both of us a favor by saying no.

Confused, I talked to a guy from work one night when he gave me a lift back home. I asked whether it was just a guy thing that I had failed to understand.

“It’s a lust thing. That guy is just lusting over you and feels entitled to your body,” my workmate said after he had listened to me. He added that my body was mine, -no one had a right to pressure me into doing something that I was not comfortable doing. I felt so much better after talking to him.

The demands still kept coming. I loved Jason and so many times I wanted to give in. However, I just could not get myself to do it. Three reasons: my relationship with God, my upbringingā€¦..there was also the fact that he had not yet committed. How dumb could I have possibly been?

One night, he asked in a text if I wanted his boxers. I thought it was gross, but I played along and said yes. He asked for what I would give him in return. I told him to ask for anything he wanted. He said he wanted the “V”.

Again, gross. Sometimes I indulged him just to see how sick he really was. From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.

“Is that the only thing you want from me?” I asked, hoping he would laugh, say he was kidding and suggest something else. But he did not. He stuck to his guns and said that it was all he wanted from me.

I never felt so disappointed in my life. Even for his standard, this was way too low. How dare he? Was I that cheap to him? My body was worth a pair of used boxers?! Men!

Exasperated, I took and sent a screenshot of that conversation to two of my friends.
I did not expect my friends to do anything about it. I was just venting and wanted some sympathy from them. I was used to sharing my relationship problems with them.

My friends were FURIOUS and took matters into their own hands. After that day, I declared I would never send screenshots ever again.

Without my consent, both girls individually confronted Jason, who in turn attacked me.

End of Part One.

Disclaimer: The names in this story have been altered to protect the identity of the characters involved.

Thanks for reading and for sharing the links. Part two will be out soon.

2 Comments

  1. Ayebare Patience Joy

    May 12, 2022 at 7:40 pm

    Wow Jason…

    1. Echoes Over Coffee

      May 13, 2022 at 10:12 am

      ….men are special like that!

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