Opinions

Let Men Cheat

The problem with men in this era is that they want to eat their cake and still have it. They will have countless girlfriends and commit to none. Seeing that no sensible girl can agree to such insanity, they make sure every girl feels like she is the ‘only one’. When in reality they are many.

This was once my story at some point. Once I got to know for a fact that I had been played, I became angry and bitter. I hated men who dated and dumped women just for the fun of it. Why couldn’t a man pick one woman, love her, cherish her, spoil her and be loyal to her forever? How complicated was that?

I never fell in love until I was twenty three years old. When I finally did, I gave it my best shot. I wanted the relationship to work out by all means. I wanted to love this one man forever. I wanted him to be my first and my last. Months down the relationship, it irredeemably fell apart.

People often make the mistake of assuming that as long as there’s no sex involved, moving on should be a piece of cake. I do not know of any statement more false! Even without sex, the pain of leaving someone you thought you would love forever is unbearable.

There is so much I wanted to do for that man, but my hands were tied. Tied by his annoying lack of effort. I had vowed that the best I could ever do for any man in my life was to match his effort. He did nothing, so all I could do was return the favor.

When it became quite clear that I could not milk any effort from him, I purposed to replace him.

I gave other men a shot but it never worked out. Several of those times I was to blame. I would be talking to someone but my heart would be aching for another. Whenever a guy did something kind and special for me and I returned the favor, I hated the fact that I could not do any of these things for the man I genuinely loved.

Why? Because if he was already taking me for granted, adding my wallet to the relationship would only make things worse. A queen never brings her wallet inside a relationship. Besides, a man can never screw me twice; he can’t play dice with my heart and also take my money.

Automatically, I hated men who toyed with women’s hearts. I despised and distanced myself from any man that lied, cheated and flirted with just about any skirt that came to sight. I held a special grudge for such men. Even worse if they were Christians. Weren’t they supposed to know better?

However, I had a paradigm shift. One day I woke up and decided that it was okay for guys to cheat. Some of them actually believe that it’s their masculine right, because girls are many. Often times when a man knows he can not have his way with a woman, he quickly jumps on to his next toy. So allow them to flirt, date and do whatever they think they need to fulfill them. Only advice is, ‘Do not be their victim. Do not be a toy’.

Of course I wish it did not have to be that way with them, but men are like children. You tell them to stay away from fire and dangerous objects, but they will not listen until they get burnt or hurt. After seeing that it truly hurts, they will not need anymore reminders to stay away. Matter of fact, they will run if you try to bring fire next to them.

Finally after their games, when men are ready to settle, they will honor their vows because they would have done it all-and come to the conclusion that cheating would not fulfill them.

No wonder society is harder on the girl child. I figured that if a lady understands her worth, she will not entertain bullshit from any man.

Look at it this way; if all women turned down unserious men, they would not have anyone to toy with. We may be unable to control men and make them act better, but we can always walk away. Value your body, cause if you don’t, no one will. Definitely not these men.

The End.

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11 Comments

  1. Julius Natuhwera

    July 1, 2022 at 8:38 pm

    I think polygamy is in the blood of every male creature God made. They easily get bored and they don’t like to be cheated on. The best trick God gave them however is making sure that each of their prey is made to feel equally special. Just that these days men are losing that trait hence failure to handle as many women as they should. Note that I’m not giving a green card to guys to cheat. Neither do I think it should be called cheating. If you want to have many women, make sure you marry each and everyone of them.
    I agree if a woman doesn’t want to be played around with, they have that decision in their hands too, the red flags are always clear. They choose to ignore them or overly compromise on things they shouldn’t.

    1. Echoes Over Coffee

      July 1, 2022 at 8:44 pm

      Know this, know peace.
      I think the best trick my ex used was to keep all of us anonymous. In that regard, I bet he played his cards well.

      1. Julius Natuhwera

        July 1, 2022 at 8:47 pm

        Of course this is the best way to handle many things. If you don’t have it, then you’re uncapable.
        You’ve got to play your cards well.

  2. Julius Natuhwera

    July 1, 2022 at 8:45 pm

    The sad truth about such men though, is that they may never actually settle. It’s a probability. The number that can finally do that can be counted on a single palm. It’s a personality and character trait. So you either have to be lucky or something like that.
    Love is a risk. The greater the risk, the greater the risk or reward. It’s also like planting a seed, it may or may not germinate, plant, water and do.

    1. Echoes Over Coffee

      July 1, 2022 at 8:54 pm

      Yeah, absolutely right.

  3. Ayebare Patience Joy

    July 2, 2022 at 8:38 am

    I think that relationship is about purpose, growth and then love. Sadly, nowadays people are getting into relationships for reasons like his tall, dark and handsome; she’s hot, he simply makes me happy, she has great English, he’s cute so we’ll have cute kids etc and at that rate there’s no way you can’t play with each other because before you know it, another comes around and she’s hotter or his cooler and man! You just have to keep switching through all the beauties.
    Men or women, all of us are confused and clueless about what it means to love and need God to show us how to, re-align and purify our minds so that we can always be reminded that the sole reason for relationship is marriage and the essence of that is ministry. In other words, if the two of you ain’t after showcasing God, then both of you are playing each other-ooh

    1. Echoes Over Coffee

      July 2, 2022 at 11:10 am

      Thank you Joy for that submission. Very deep, powerful and insightful.
      However, I beg to slightly differ. I believe physical attraction is of importance. It’s also a plus if you admire certain things about your partner; otherwise it wouldn’t matter who one married. We would as well just go to the street blindfolded and just pick a mate. Educated or not, religious or atheist, addict or not, virtuous or not, financially stable or broke etc….
      My point is that it’s okay for people to consider certain aspects of an individual before committing.

  4. Esther Byoona

    July 2, 2022 at 4:13 pm

    Amazing story

    1. Echoes Over Coffee

      July 2, 2022 at 4:41 pm

      Thanks Esther.

  5. Ayebare Patience Joy

    July 3, 2022 at 12:35 pm

    Yes you’re absolutely right,physical attraction is important but there more weightier issues and its those that sustain you and keep you committed to this one person.
    I’m yet to see a girl who sticks to a man without a clear vision,disrespectful and a terrible attitude because his cute or a man who clings onto a quarrelsome,unfocused and disorganized woman because she’s hot.

    There’s just a way the goodness in someone radiants on their exterior,so if you consider the weightier issues you’ll definitely see that radiance.

    1. Echoes Over Coffee

      July 3, 2022 at 1:44 pm

      Yeah, I get your point. That’s why we do all these things to enhance ourselves both on the inside and outside.

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