Day One- Part One

Wednesday, September 7, 2022.
After my arrival the previous night, this was my first day at my new residence with Alvin.

I woke up at 5:30am and washed my face. Next, I got my phone and tried to work. I worked for about thirty minutes on a story for my blog. Later, I checked my blog’s email and found a comment from a new reader, Mark. I smiled when I read it, “Thanks for your blog, nice to read. Do not stop”. How sweet of him. With everything going on around me, writing was the single thing preventing me from losing my head. Getting feedback from my readers was a lifeline.
From the blog, I tried to do some transcribing but realized that I was not in the right state of mind for it. Luckily, I had two months left until the deadline.

Alvin woke up a few minutes to 7am. I was sitting at the extreme end of the bed working. When he saw that I was awake, he asked how my night was. “It was okay,” I replied. For some split seconds, I looked at him. I recalled him telling me that his girlfriend had asked for a non-exclusive relationship. Poor guy. I actually felt sorry for him. I knew a thing or two about heartaches and unrequited love.

Just then, it hit me that for over eighteen months, I had not been held or hugged by a guy. I had blocked my heart from feeling any emotion. I was deeply broken and hurting. However, my mind went back to the previous night when Alvin made a move on me.

With him, I felt the high, impenetrable walls crumbling; these walls that I had built over the months. Maybe it was the kindness in his tone or the times when he would touch my arm so gently. Whatever it was, I suddenly wanted him to wrap me in his arms. I wanted him to hold me as I cried out all my pain, confusion and frustration with life. I was done being strong. I was tired of pushing back the pain I still felt months after my heartbreak. I was done with acting like everything was okay, when in reality, my whole world had come down crumbling.

I wanted to be vulnerable with him. All these feelings and passions I had shoved down started making their way back.

Just then, I heard God telling me to flee sexual temptation. At the moment, my relationship with God was free-lance. I felt like I was in that situation only because He allowed for it to happen. All I needed was one month’s rent money. Where was he when I was not paid at work? Or when people with my money failed to pay me back? Or when I got scammed in some investment project? Or when I lost my second job? Or when my businesses collapsed? I was not angry, because hardships are part of a Christian’s life, but I was at a point when I was not taking advice from God -or anyone.

The next thing that came to mind, was something that my ex had said to me once in 2019; “You know you don’t have to do all that…”
Hearing them now again made me pause momentarily, but then, where was he when I needed him most?

I got up from where I was sitting and went to where Alvin was. “Did your girlfriend really say she doesn’t mind what you do?” I asked.
More like the Adam, Eve and the snake story. “Did God really say…??”

Alvin: Yeah, she said we can date other people and do whatever we want.

Maybe he was lying, but I didn’t care. I guess I was only asking so that I could justify my actions. Alvin had made a move on me the previous night. Now there I was, making a move on him. Lucky for me, it did not go far. Somehow common sense located me and I fled.

I laid the bed as he showered. When he got out, I too showered and brushed. I dressed up from the bathroom. When I came to spray my body, he was watching me.

Alvin made tea and we had breakfast together. His was actually a nice room, it just needed some cleaning and organizing. I asked a bunch of nosy questions, finding out what he used to clean, mop, wipe, iron and things in that line.

After breakfast, Alvin showed me around. It was a nice place located in an environment with green vegetation and good ambiance. I loved the tranquility. I knew I would think and work well from there.

There were sinks on the balcony for
washing utensils. As I washed, Alvin noticed that my long shirt sleeves were getting in the way. He came over and folded them. But guys! if everyone folded sleeves like that, then we would be falling in love everyday.

He took the key to open the front gate and brought it back. “Make sure you always lockup the room, balcony and the other side of the gate,” he cautioned. I nodded. He stood and watched me for awhile.

Alvin leaned in and caressed my arm gently, “I need to leave for work but feel free, move around, mingle, make friends… feel at home. In case of anything, call me”.

Me: Alright, I will. If you don’t find me here, just know that I’ve gone home.

He looked at me analytically, gauging whether I was serious or not. I smiled. With that, he bid me farewell and went to work.

End of Part One.

Disclaimer: The names that feature in this story are fictitious. They were made up to protect the identity and privacy of those involved.

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