Childhood Dreams -Versus Reality

Just like any other responsible child, I too sat down and made a perfect plan for my future and how I wanted it to pane out. “Shoot for the stars, and land on the moon”, -but what if you don’t?

I wanted to graduate from highschool with some of the best grades in the country. But, out of 20, I got 9 points in U.A.C.E.

I finished highschool when I was 21 years old, not 18. I wanted to join campus at the age of 19. I joined when I was 22 years old.

I wished to do a degree but I ended up doing a diploma at Uganda Christian University for a semester in Business Administration, then later changed everything altogether. I went to United Media Consultants and Trainers (UMCAT) school of Journalism and Mass Communication and did a diploma in Journalism. Because of COVID-19, I did not graduate in two years. I graduated three and a half years later in December 2021.

I wanted to graduate with a bachelor’s degree at the age 23 with a First Class and get a well-paying job. Instead, I graduated with a diploma, second class upper, at the age of 26. As for jobs, I was still a volunteer, getting only transport facilitation.

After graduation, I thought I would have so much money, owning a four-roomed apartment in a bougie neighborhood. And be one of the most sounding names in the country and world of media. However, eight months after graduation, I was homeless, unable to foot my bills with my volunteer allowance. I spent some good time bouncing from one place to another, including staying alone with a guy whose first name I did not even know.

I thought I would get married to a nobel and successful man at the age of twenty five. I am currently twenty seven and very much single. I have not been in love or dated anyone since my ex in March 2021. 2023 is just two months away.

Life got so difficult that I sent in my resignation letter at work and planned on returning home to Kanungu by November 30, 2022. I was simply done. I threw in the towel. I had reached the, ‘Ye nfaaki?’ stage, losely translated to mean, “All this for what?” Or the direct translation version, “Why am I dying?”

Everything you fear will come true. Everything; failure, rejection, losing it all etc…But you will survive. You will not die.

Surprisingly, I have come to terms with reality. I have stopped beating myself up for not meeting my unrealistic expectations. I have started loving and being kind to myself; flaws and all.

It is okay when things do not pane out as you planned. Mine did not. Everything I feared and dreaded happened to me. All my insecurities were exposed.

Even with everything falling apart at every stage of my life, I have also experienced some incredible highs: I achieved national and international fame at the age of 21. I have been able to inspire and help so many people. I have had an opportunity to redeem myself and leave a good reputation.

Even in my homelessness, I saw the value and importance of friends. My childhood friend and his wife hosted me for a whole month. With them I found an abundance of love, acceptance and so much pampering.

From there, I got an invitation to stay with my friends’ family in a dream home with everything I have ever dreamt of and more. Even better, I was told I can stay for as long as I want. I feel so much peace here. It is not a fib when I say that I am living my best life now.

I am now free from social pressures; I decided that I have nothing to prove to anyone. I am also in a better place of mental health.

I might have close to nothing in material wealth; but I am happy, peaceful and grateful- so grateful, for friends that have reached out when I hit rock-bottom. There is always hope at the end of the tunnel. Surely every cloud does have a silver lining.

The End.

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