Fainted Over A Guy

On Friday, April 12, 2019; I attended an evening event at church. We had a guest speaker from Europe. My takeaway from his sharing was, “Whatever you feed grows.” For example, if you continue to watch pornography, listen to secular music, look at  nudes etc ..when you eventually get sexually tempted, you will most likely give in because your spirit is too weak and malnourished. Sin, on the other hand has grown so big that it pulls you in it’s direction, even when you don’t want to. Yes, it was a powerful session.

During the session, I texted my friend Tony. My boyfriend Leo had plans of meeting with me the next day. I was happy. I told Tony about it. However, he was not as enthusiastic. “You should cancel. Don’t meet him. It’s a bad idea,” he said. I told him I had already said yes. After talking it through, we both agreed that it was not proper to change my mind out of the blue. It would have been cruel. That way, I maintained my plans with Leo at 5pm the following day.

When the session at church ended, I went for Ice cream with Viv, then we headed to Mukono for an overnight at the Mukono Ankrah Prayer Mountain. It was windy, freezing to the bone and stormy. It rained heavy on us but we prayed through the rain. It was a wonderful experience. God moved. At 6am, we departed.

I reached town at around 7am. With Leo in mind, I went and did some shopping. More than anything, I bought snacks. At my place, I had breakfast. Sleep was the next item on my agenda. I set the alarm at 2pm. I got up at 10am, then every thirty minutes after that. All that was on my mind was that I couldn’t oversleep because Leo was coming over- and I had to be ready.

At about midday, I was fully awake. Right away, I started with cleaning. There is the routine cleaning we all do; and there’s the thorough cleaning a girl does when her guy is visiting. Believe me, the difference between the two is extensive. I am terrified of heights, yet there I was climbing up on my window to wash the windows, change curtains, remove cobwebs from the corners, dust the walls and ceiling…..You wouldn’t catch me dead on a normal day doing that type of cleaning.

After the general cleaning, I freshened up and did my makeup for the second time that year. I put on my favorite pair of socks for comfort and made some busheera. (The type where you just boil water and stir in a cup). My favorite song at the time played on auto-repeat. When done with my porridge, I washed and put everything I had used away. At this point, my place was clean and spotless with everything in great order.

I selected my best utensils for the occasion. I also set aside warm water in a jug for him to wash his hands. Honestly, I had gone all out.  A few minutes to 5pm, everything was set. I expected Leo any minute from then. Fifteen minutes passed. Then thirty. Next thing I knew, it was 6pm.

I sent him a direct message at exactly 6pm. “Hey, where have you reached? It’s an hour late.” After all, everyone gets their messages, right? I also went on WhatsApp but he was not online. I sent some texts regardless.

Me: Hey. Where have you reached?

Then it was 7pm. Leo was two hours late. I got some crisps and started eating.

When it was nearly three hours late, I went online. From his last seen, he had been on WhatsApp. However, he had not opened my chat yet. I was furious.

A guy named Patel called. He was one of those men trying to pursue me, but he was quite unserious. I answered the phone but he was not talking. I hang up on him. He tried again and I just switched him off. My patience had been tried enough already for the day. I didn’t have anymore left.

Online, Ron texted me. I figured, it was to do damage control for his friend Leo. First, I hated Ron. Two, I was not in the mood to speak to anyone. “What do you do on weekends?” asked Ron in a text. Since when did he care what I did with my life? How was that his business? The whole thing was fishy, but I texted him back, trying to be calm. Thank goodness people can’t read tone and facial expressions in a text. I just wanted to tell him to piss off.

After John the Baptist prepared the way, the long awaited Messiah texted me. It was six minutes past 8pm.

Leo: Hi dear. Sorry. My phone died n I had a tight schedule. Failed to call you earlier.

When I saw his texts, I thought to myself, ‘Just cut the crap already.’ The right time to send me that nonsense was at 3pm.

Me: You’re coming or you’ve cancelled?
Leo: I’ve cancelled. It’s late dear.
Me: It’s fine.
Leo: Thanks for understanding.
Me: It’s what friends are for.

I had seen it coming. Nonetheless, tears welled up in my eyes but I did not cry.

I made tea and filled a big container with potato and plantain crisps. I sat down on the spotless tiles texting, my feet raised on the bed. A series was playing on the laptop, but I was singing to myself.

After finishing my first cup, I was feeling too lazy to get up and pick the sugar, spices and tea leaves that were literally five steps away from me. I kept eating and drinking absent-mindedly until both the container and percolator emptied. Stress-eating.

The following day was Sunday. In preparation for the second service, my team and I spent thirty minutes in a meeting. We had to introduce ourselves, talk about how we have been, share prayer requests, pray for the services, get updates from our leaders and then get allocated to where we would serve during the service. This was the custom.

As we stood in the circle, I saw a white light and then everything was black. Suddenly, my body was too heavy and I couldn’t support it. Annie on my right grabbed me before I hit the ground. Several people supported me and led me away to a table. I sat on one of the chairs and leaned my head on the table.

Annie later returned with a bottle of water and a Minute Maid. I took some juice. After a few minutes, the dizziness left me.

Feeling better, I served upstairs in the upper auditorium during the service. That day, people thought I had passed out because of hunger. But no. It was not that. I had eaten breakfast that morning. The last person I thought about was Leo. His face was the last thing I saw before my weight crumbled under me. I fainted over a guy.

The End.

Disclaimer: The names that feature in this story are fictitious. They were made up to protect the identity and privacy of those involved.

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